True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
