She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
