whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
