Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
