why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
