Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
