I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
