the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
