So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
