I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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