Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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