It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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