My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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