Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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