it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We need to get me chipped asap
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
