ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
