Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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