there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
