he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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