my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
