the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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