Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
