So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
