Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
