Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
