I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
