Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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