I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
