hotel room ftw
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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