How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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