i barfeds in our rink
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
