Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
