Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
