Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
