Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He has the fingertips of a God
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
