Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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