even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
