Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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