i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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