I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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