If i come over, it means nothing
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
