Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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