TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
FUCK WHALES
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
