There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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