All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
