i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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