I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
