And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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