Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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