i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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